Look Within

I was born in Cuba and raised through the most horrible economic crisis ever seen there. I remember as a teenager having to take a bath with no soap and use baking soda as deodorant. I remember having to put scotch tape inside my sandals to “fix them,” and I remember my mother – a single mother of 3 going to bed with only white rice in her stomach, so the 3 of us could split the two eggs that were left, which she would scramble with some onions (everything she made was always delicious).

I tell you some of my story because I know you will understand me better when you hear me speak and when you read my writings.

Then came the time for me to decide if I wanted to migrate to the United States. I clang to that opportunity like a baby clings to her mother when she is afraid. And off I went to the U.S.A when I was 22 years of age. And I went alone. No family went with me. I left it all behind to start a new life of freedom and perfection… or so I thought.

I was like a new born looking at every detail of South Florida with awe. I was amazed at the size of the streets, the look of the new cars, the pretty plazas, and the abundance of food in the grocery stores.

But, oh how I missed my family and my country! I cried non-stop for the first 3 months! I wanted my mommy and my friends. I wanted to turn around and catch my little sister stealing my makeup. I wanted to laugh at my brother’s jokes.

“This is the price for freedom; you are gonna be okay”, I told myself.

What followed were the most dreadful years of my life I suppose all preparing me to one day encourage and teach others.

I felt lost, discouraged, lonely, DIFFERENT, unworthy of happiness, and even a little guilty for having left my family behind.

The story is very long… but in a nutshell:

  • I learned the difference between conforming to what the masses want you to do and not.
  • I learned that good friends are like angels that God puts in your life.
  • I learned to trust because well, I was homeless at one point and had to fucking trust that God would provide which He did every single time and still does.
  • And I also learned to suppress my feelings and leave the tears for later.
  • And to hustle and show the world what I was capable of achieving.
  • And, I learned that unforgiveness and resentment against myself were not the answer… so I decided to look for joy and peace and contentment… I found them… And if you want to know how to find them, don’t blame, don’t look around for external things: LOOK WITHIN.

Forgive, accept the past, love yourself exactly as you are. It’s only then when you will find your joy and peace.

Damaysi

6 thoughts on “Look Within

  1. Ruby

    I suffered from a series of unfortunate events in my life..
    I sabotage myself and I dont know how to pick up nyself and rise again…but when I read your story, you inspire me. Thanks for sharing.

    1. damaysiv Post author

      You are so welcome, Ruby. Some of us have stories that would bring people to their knees. It is very natural to sabotage yourself and feel like you do. But I promise you that you can get to the other side of it. It’s about consistent, small shifts in our thinking and finding people who will support you and love you through it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *