As I am studying and applying the principles the Money Mentality Makeover e-course in my life, I realize a lot of my belief systems about debt and buying came from resent years (and not from childhood).
I used to have a coach about 10 years ago who today coaches people from all walks of life, but back in the day she focused and attracted a lot of network marketers. I went to her events many times since I was in the industry. I am very grateful for her even though today I respectfully disagree with a lot of the concepts she taught.
For instance, she taught that if you had any kind of debt you didn’t deserve to go to the movies or get a haircut , let alone spend in new things.
Although I understand that her heart is in the place of helping people get out of debt, this belief system plants GUILT on people when it comes to spending. All this did was make people pay debt and as fast as they paid it they got back into it because this approach does not address the most important thing: the person will get back into debt over and over until they change their unconscious beliefs about money.
As money is neither good nor evil but just a neutral resource, so is debt. Debt is not good or bad – it is just a choice to pay something over time. If you have debt, and you want to go out to dinner, enjoy a movie, or buy yourself a Gucci belt, by all means go do it with no guilt.
Planting this type of belief system in people is disconcerting.
I understand we are a society that constantly consumes with credit cards, and a lot of people get in over their heads in debt, and they can barely pay their minimum payments which is something that needs to be addressed, but never in a way that brings guilt! Discipline and wisdom, yes, but not blame or guilt. And if you are in this situation, maybe try looking at it as:
“I made these decisions that got me stressed and in a bad spot financially. I forgive myself. Now I am going to find a way to increase my income to pay for these expenses, and while I do, I will also enjoy my life and accept that these were choices I made, and that this doesn’t make me bad or stupid. It’s something I chose to learn.”
Or… you can go ahead and pay everything off first and not get a haircut in 2 years if that is what brings you joy and peace. But don’t judge those who choose the other way.